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Romeo and Juliet experience disaster in their lives partially due to inadequate parenting. Examine how well each parent/carer copes with his/her role. Romeo and Juliet were left in a predicament where they felt forced to commit suicide partially due to inadequate parenting from both families and ended up being supported by other caring adults. Romeo and Juliet could not be with each other in an environment full of hatred caused by the feud between the Montague and Capulet’s. Romeo and Juliet’s inadequate parenting made them feel unwanted.
Adequate parenting is when the parent nurtures, communicates, listens and loves their child. If their natural parents had nurtured and cared for Romeo and Juliet their tragedy would have just led to them just staying with each other. This then led them to ask for guidance from the Friar and the Nurse. The Nurse and Friar tried to do what Romeo and Juliet’s parents could not do which was to nurture and care for them by giving them comfort and love from their elderly wisdom, this is what gave Romeo and Juliet the hope of freedom.
The Nurse is one of the main carers for Juliet as her parents were not able to communicate well with Juliet. The Nurse is the only alternative for Juliet to have comfort from apart from the Friar who she also goes for comfort from. “for the gentlewoman is young and therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were and ill thing… and very weak dealing” The support the Nurse was giving to Juliet made her feel that the there is someone there for her to support and look after her in situations where she needs the Nurse the most, by telling Romeo not to chat on her.
Throughout the life of Juliet the Nurse was the only person who had shown some affection and love towards her, and was the main person who gave her motherly love, which should have come from the parents. The nurse was the one who was telling all the stories about Juliet as a child that helped them to have a great partnership with each other, “For then she could stand high-lone; nay, by th’rood, She could have run and waddled all about”.
When Juliet was young the Nurse was telling her stories of when she was able to walk and move about on her own, Juliet was very interested, as she wanted to know what she was like as a youth which gave Juliet the comfort of love from the Nurse. Other signs of close bond between Juliet and the Nurse is the way both of them talk to each other, which is in a far less formal manner compared to the way Juliet talks with her mother. The Nurse is the one who sets up a meeting between Romeo and Juliet even though she knows Romeo is a Montague.
This shows her loyalty toward Juliet and knows this will be the right move. “But you shall bear the burden soon at night” The Nurse has taken the responsibilities of getting Juliet and Romeo together as she knows it is dangerous and could lead to her losing her job but she does this for the happiness of Juliet. As the marriage of Romeo and Juliet got more and more complicated to control the Nurse could not handle the situation and ended up abandoning Juliet when she most needed the support of the wise Nurse, she advices “I think it best you marry with the County”.
As the Nurse could not handle the situation she ended up backing Lady Capulet by suggesting she should marry Paris even though she knew Juliet was married to Romeo. At this point Juliet lost her trust in the Nurse and was left on her own as Romeo was banished. This led Juliet to go to the Friar to get some help, as it was the last hope for her to be with Romeo. Everyone respects Friar Lawrence as he gives careful advice and is the head of the church. He is the main carer for Romeo, as he has no support from his parents and do not understand what he wants.
The Friar and Romeo have a great amount of communication between each other as Romeo comes to him when he needs help and the Friar is the only one who could help. “For this alliance may so happy prove, to tour your households’ rancour to pure love”. Friar Lawrence understands that Romeo loves Juliet and he will help them to get married as he feels it is right and the love they have is pure and not based on marrying for money. The Friar is the one who marries Romeo and Juliet as he feels their love will survive in the world of violence with the feud of the two families.
“For by your leaves, you shall not stay alone Till Holy Church incorporate two in one” The marriage of Romeo and Juliet was done in secret and only the Friar and the Nurse knew about it. Both Romeo and Juliet trusted the Friar not tell anyone about the marriage. The Friar has given guidance to Romeo since the two of them met with each other. Romeo trusts that his guidance is right and is well meaning, as the Friar is the head of the church, “Thy love did read by rote, that could not spell”. The Friar gave Romeo advice to help him to survive with Juliet.
If they love passionately is it bad for them; Romeo must understand these words of the Friar. When Romeo was left in such a predicament he was forced to go and live in Mantua, Juliet was left on her own as the Nurse betrayed her. The only hope for her was the Friar, ” Hold daughter, I do spy a kind of hope, Which craves as desperate an execution as that is desperate which would prevent”. Juliet had to trust the Friar as it was the last chance for her to survive and she had to put her fate in his hands.
She has this trust, as she knows he could help. The Friar had made a plan as a last minute action to keep Romeo and Juliet together as he knows how much they love each other and need each other to survive in this world. The plan consisted of many stages and must be followed exactly and if anything were wrong then would lead to the deaths of Romeo and Juliet. “Hold, get you gone, be strong and prosperous In this resolve; I’ll send a friar with speed To Mantua, with my letter to thy lord”.
The last part of the plan is to get the letter to Romeo telling him all about the plan. The friar had taken a parental role of helping these two lovers to be with each other. Near the end where the plan had to be done perfectly or everything would go wrong, the Friar had ran away after seeing that Romeo had come too early and killed himself and the whole situation was a total disaster. The Friar wanted to protect his reputation and went off, “Saint Francis by my speed! How oft tonight have my old feet stumbl’d at graves!
” The Friar has realised that the plan was going wrong and when he found out that Romeo had got there earlier he knew the whole thing was over. At first he blamed himself for being slow but he knew Romeo had come too early. He then ran away and left the two in the vault, this situation is similar to what both Romeo and Juliet’s parents have done from the start by not caring for them. Lord and Lady Montague are not really seen in play, as much so there are not many problems with their parenting.
The main failure between Romeo and his parents is the lack of communication, as they do not really communicate with each other as much as they should, “Pursu’d my humour, not pursuing, and gladly shunn’d who gladly fled from me” from this Lord Montague can see he has no real chance of communication with his son as he does not understand his problem and does not know how to deal with it. This lack of communication has been a downfall in Romeo’s relationship with his parents.
Lord and Lady Montague have love for Romeo and do care for him but the problem with them is that they do not know how to express their love and how to give him advice like normal parents and fell grief after Romeo dies. “Grief of my son’s exile hath stopp’d her breath. ” After Romeo was dead Lord and Lady Montague were grieving over Romeo’s death as their only son was dead. This situation was too much for Lady Montague to handle and she died too, this showed how much she really loved her son and how much she did care. This is much like Lady Capulet who also loves her daughter but she does not know how to express this.
Lady Capulet shows her love to Juliet when she shows her grief toward her death, “O me, O me, my child, my only life! Revive, look up, or I will die with thee. ” This shows Lady Capulet’s grief over her only child, she has shown how much she loved her child, as she was the only child she had. Lady Capulet mainly wants Juliet to have money so she does not struggle in life, so she wanted her to marry Paris, as he was wealthy. This is the only thing she wanted for Juliet and not for the love.
“The gallant, young, and noble gentlemen, The county Paris, at Saint Peter’s Church,Shall happily make thee there a joyful bride. ” Lady Capulet has surprised Juliet by telling her about the wedding being so soon Lady Capulet did not realise that Juliet was not ready and she had rushed things forward too quickly.
The language she uses with Juliet is formal compared to the way Juliet talks to the Nurse which is not formal, “Tell me daughter Juliet, How stands your dispositions to be married? “, She has come up to Juliet to talk about the marriage as she did want to know about who she loved but it does not matter to Lady Capulet, as she wanted to marry Juliet to Paris.
She did not really interact with her daughter as much as a mother should; this is what keeps them apart and does not give them a good relationship. This makes Juliet feel unwanted and she feels there is no one there for her and ends up going to the Nurse and Friar when she needed help. Lady Capulet relies on Lord Capulet to take care of all the preparation of the wedding and so she does not worry about anything. Like Lady Capulet, Lord Capulet is not a good parent, as he does not have a good relationship with his daughter.
He only likes his daughter when she listens to him, and everything is fine but if she were to disobey him then he will get angry and show all his anger in his violence. “I tell thee what: get thee to church a ‘Thursday, Or never after look me in the face. Speak not, reply not, do not answer me! ” He has left her a place where she is forced to marry Paris or she will lose the chance to see her father ever again. This has really made her feel sorrow and she feels like there is no one for her, this gives her the decision of suicide as she has no reason to be alive.
As he has forced her to marry Paris, she knows she cannot as she has already married Romeo. Romeo and Juliet were star-crossed lovers and their only fall was fate. Fate is something, which they or nobody can control and led them to their eventual death. When Friar John could not deliver the message fate was the cause of this and the plan ended up going wrong. I believe that the most inadequate parent was Lady Capulet as she did not know how to show her love towards Juliet and did not know what Juliet wanted. She made Juliet feel unwanted and like no one was there for her to be looked out for.
The Nurse was the main carer for Juliet and she was the only one who showed her love towards her and used her wisdom to look out for her. As soon as the situation got out of hand then the Nurse betrayed her and left Juliet on her own. Romeo’s parents were not capable to look after him as they did not know what he wanted, leading him to go to the Friar. The Friar was the only person who cared and wanted to help Romeo. When the plan went wrong the Friar was left on a predicament as Romeo had come to early and he saw both of them dead, as he was afraid of the consequences and decided to run away and left them to lie.